Resolving.
I welcomed the new year from the Oregon coast and it was basically perfect. There was bad champagne on the beach with good people and good weather and fireworks. Also we watched Aliens, so there was that.
I am making real resolutions. I’m normally bad at this, so I made these a bit intangible on purpose.
Be honest with myself and others. Be gentle but true. Recognize my own limitations and respect them. Recognize the limitations of others and respect those. Be better at forgiving.
Be more conscious of the social norms and binaries which I live within. To recognize their existence and assess their validity rather than take them as inherent truths. To determine the degree to which they apply to me, and to what degree I should resist applying them to others.
Prioritize my own health without falling into a pattern of shaming and guilt with regards to imperfections and failure. Never quit working on self love. Physical activity, healthier ways to be a vegetarian (maybe even addressing my massive iron deficiency at some point?!), better/more sleep, reflection and meditation, recognizing mood swings, maintaining healthy relationships. I won’t set specific limits because I’m not ready to enforce them, but I want to be conscious about these things.
Don’t get overwhelmed by the last two quarters and impending graduation/real life/real work. Instead, get excited. Get committed. Devote myself to what I love and fight for the success that I have earned. Never forget that my patients, as well as my peers and the nurses and doctors and other staff, are people whom I should respect and can learn from.
(updated 1/2/12) Be more definitive. Use less apologetic or soft language. Don’t say “probably” when I mean “definitely,” or “maybe” when I mean “absolutely.” Be brave enough to own my words and aware enough to notice when I am hedging my responses. Stop apologizing for things that are not my fault, or that should not be apologized for. Most of all, stop apologizing for my emotions— accept and declare these as valid.
